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Thursday, 28 July 2016

How To Embrace Your Own Uniqueness Without Comparing Or Competing

What would life be like if we all were the same? I mean if we all looked similar, were all one race, spoke the same language, communicated about the same subjects, thought the same things, dressed the same and ate the same kind of food. Can you imagine that? Can you imagine what life would be like if the world was actually like that?

I reckon life in general and the world around us would be very dull and boring indeed.
Life experiences would probably cease to have meaning as there would be nothing new to lean or experience. Our minds would lack stimulation and we'd have a less exciting, varied world around us if we were all the same or  too similar. If there wasn't enough differences to make everyone uniquely different life would be boring.

So why do we find ourselves
 comparing ourselves to others? Desiring to be like or the same as someone else? Whether that be wanting to look like someone else or desiring to mimic and copy the style and trend of others or literally wanting to be someone else completely?

Why cant we just accept ourselves for who we are without focusing on others? Why do we rate ourselves against others like it is some kind of competition?

When you really stop and think and ask yourself these questions it can lead to even more questions like;
-How does it make us feel when we compare ourselves to others? 

-Does it make us feel good about ourselves when we compare ourselves to others?

Don't get me wrong I don't think there is anything wrong with admiring others or modelling yourself after someone else, "If you want to be like someone, there's nothing stopping you from modeling yourself after someone else. You don't have to BE them - that's not your job in life. Your job in life is not to be someone else. You just want to be as good at being you as that person is at being them." - Jenna Marbles

Issues arise when you compare yourself to others to the point you feel that another person is some how better than you that's where issues arise. Have you ever thought any of the following;
- 'they're better than me'
- 'they're better looking than me'
-'they're better dressed than me'
-'they have a better physical appearance than me'
-'they have a better figure than me'
- 'they have better finances than me'
-'they have a better standard of living than me'
-'they have a better social life than me' 

How do you think this will impact your self esteem if you think like that?

I go on Instagram and I see there's always someone with amazing hair, amazing eyebrows, amazing bodies, amazing style, fantastic shoes and expensive wardrobes and it's hard not to get sucked into thinking 'oh my gosh they look so much better than me'. I call it the comparison game however as a rule I stop myself and say to myself  'don't get sucked in' that's them and I too have great qualities and attributes.

Whenever you compare yourself to others your basically depleting your own value  and make yourself feel worst about yourself by labeling another person better than you.

On the flip side some people compete in order to prove they are better than others and make incredible effort to demonstrate I am better. Why? 
They simply need the validation in order to feel of value because they feel like they are nothing, like they are worthless no bodies if they didn't compete and if they didn't exhibit they are better than others in some way. 

My advice to this is Don't compare yourself or even compete with others. 

We are all unique just like our fingerprints.

There is only one version of awesome is that!

How cool is it to know that the same God that created, oceans, mountains and gallaxies looked and thought you know what the world needed one of you too.

We are all here to become a higher, elevated, better version of ourself therefore you are your own competition.

If you believe others are better than you in anyway way, whether that be that they are more better off than you, more attractive than you, more stylish than you, more anything than you then you need to STOP right now. Stop Comparing yourself with others as it only distracts you from the mission of being the best version of yourself.

If you believe you have to prove you are better than others and you compete with others to show them that you are above them in order to feel you are someone then you need to STOP right now. As your excelling for all the wrong reasons. Your competing for recognition because you feel like a nobody without it. How can you be the best version of yourself when you have to compete in order to feel valued.

The greatest battle you will ever fight is the one with yourself in your own mind and it takes daily  practice to be consciously mindful and alert of all the thoughts you have about yourself. 
Monitor your thoughts and the messages you tell yourself. We literally have millions of thoughts run through our minds in one day and in order to stop habits of comparing and competing, our thoughts must be monitored. 

There simply is no time to be comparing and competing with others when your here to learn how to master yourself.

You can either be your own worst enemy or fight to be the best you can be, free from comparisons and free from competition.

You can either destroy and assassinate your own confidence and self esteem or become a master builder and learn to build yourself up each and every day.

 The choice is yours!

 It is my hope that more people learn how to get to know themselves, learn how to embrace their uniqueness and love themselves. I hope people are able to make it their mission to take daily affirmative action in mentally pushing their egos and insecurities out the way in order to embrace self love and celebrate their individual uniqueness instead of always wanting to be the same or similar to someone else or trying to out do someone in order to feel validated.

Writing Challenge
Take a moment to get comfortable think about how there is only one version of you on the face of this earth. Now  #justpickupanotepad and #justwrite;
(1) List everything that you can think of that's unique about you, all your unique attributes and qualities. All your strengths, all your positive attributes, all the things that make you uniquely you.
Even Include physical attributes if you can such as facial features, freckles, birth marks, stretch marks, scars or, any  features that you see as unique & identifiable to you.

(2) Now imagine you are writing an Ad about yourself and you have to present these unique features in a magazine.

Write as many positives as you can and be as creative with your words as you possible can. remember your writing an Ad about yourself, so sell yourself, make every attribute and quality sound as appealing as you possible can.

Even if you think any of your unique physical features are unbecoming, turn it around and give it a positive spin, market the hell out of it make it sound desirable. For example "I have stretch marks and a scar on my bum that looks like a claw mark  from sitting on a flat iron. But when I look in the I feel like a bold, daring, feline tigress which is a unique kind of confidence to possess."

Also be honest, If sarcasm and a dry sense of humour uniquely defines you sell it, what's the upside to having that attribute. What's the upside to being a straight talking, no bullshit kind of person. Be truthful about all your unique defining qualities and attributes, whatever they are and simply let them shine.

Thank you for reading, God Bless and remember to #justpickupanotepad and #justwrite



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